275+ Cute and Funny Cow Names From Moodonna to Donald Rump

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This article is part of our Funny Names series.

Did you know that cows with names produce more milk?! And the ones with funny cow names probably produce even more!

Yes, that is a genuine fact – a research study has found that cows with names produce on average one liter more milk per day than their nameless counterparts!

This is because cows with names are treated as individuals and have lower levels of stress hormones. And it isn’t just down to the fact that cows with names are more likely to live in smaller herds, as the results are the same in similar-sized groups of cows.

The steaks are high!

So, if you haven’t given your lovely bovine family names yet, what are you waiting for?

Naming your animals can be a tricky business though. Do you go with a theme, or stick to traditional names? How do you find a cow name that you udderly love?

Remember you will need to bellow this name across the homestead when it is time to call the cows home, so despite turning into a cowmedian, avoid anything too rude or outrageous!

Unless of course, your nearest neighbor is well out of earshot, in which case, go as crazy as you like!

Also, I found some ridiculously hilarious signs too – couldn’t help but include them! Hope you get a laugh out of them as I did!

cowabunga funny cows
Do you have a cow with character? Show us your photos!

How to Hunt Down Ideas for the Best Funny Cow Names

When thinking about a name for your new cow, you might be struggling for inspiration! Here are some tips to get you started: 

  • Many herds of cattle are named around an idea. You might want to look to the landscape around your area for inspiration – local wildlife, town names, and native trees and wildflowers are all a good start.
  • You could also pick names that are linked to a theme. One of the cutest herds of cattle I ever met was named after different cheeses! They had Parmesan, Manchego, Ricotta, Halloumi, Mozzarella, and the bull was called Monterey Jack.
  • I grew up next to a dairy farm where each year the calves were given a name starting with a certain letter. So, one year it would be Annabelle, Arabella, Anna, etc., then the next year it would be Betty, Bella, Barbara, and so on.

This is a great system if you want an easy way to remember what year your cows were born!

Top 24 Best Funny Cow Names: From Donald Rump to Red Bull, Guaranteed to Make You Laugh!

Before we get started with the best cute and funny cow names, let me introduce our newest member to the herd – Syrup!

pancake syrup lowline cattle cow with calf 2
Syrup, only hours old, and her momma, Pancake. Syrup and Pancake are purebred Lowline cattle. Lowlines are known for being friendly, hardy cows that make excellent moms. Pancake doesn’t disappoint – she fusses over this baby like a Supermom!

These ideas all work well if you’ve got a herd of cows, but what if you’ve just one or two cows to name? 

Good Cow Names – What to Consider

So, what’s in a name? Some of the best cow names come up time and time again, and there is a good reason for this.

Firstly, you want a name that is easy to pronounce. There is no point in having a cow name that the youngsters in your family struggle to say properly!

The name also needs to be clearly recognizable by the cow.

Now, I know this sounds crazy, but bear with me here.

Cows do learn to recognize their own names over time. However, they will struggle to distinguish between similar names. Calling your calves Jill, Will, Lill, and Bill will only cause confusion when you only want one of them!

Pick a cow name with clear pronunciation and easy-to-understand syllables, and you may find that you can call an individual cow from the herd using just its name.

An impressive trick that will amaze your friends!

funny cow
Are you amoosed yet?

These are the most popular and classic cow names, with some of them used for several generations on the same farm.

Names like these have stood the test of time, and I’m sure many of them will be familiar from children’s books and TV shows!

Let’s take a look at some of the best popular cow names:

  • Annie
  • Annabelle
  • Bella
  • Betty
  • Blackie
  • Brownie
  • Buttercup
  • Clarabelle
  • Daisy
  • Dixie
  • Flossie
  • Gertie
  • Nellie
  • Penny
  • Rosie
qt lowline cow cattle
This is our QT! QT is a 2-year old purebred Lowline heifer. She’s completely nuts! Lowlines are the perfect homestead cow – easy to care for and small in stature, but with plenty of meat. Are you sick of my Lowline-spam yet?

Cute Cow Names

Cute cow names for your herd!

Want to step away from traditional cow names without being too outrageous? Here are some very cute cow names to consider:

  • Bessie
  • Beauty
  • Candie
  • Cupcake (Pancake’s mommy)
  • Goldie 
  • Magic
  • Maggie
  • Minnie
  • Muffin
  • Pancake (had to include this one!)
  • Peaches
  • Penelope
  • Popsicle
  • Sprinkles
  • Syrup (yup – sorry!)

Funny Cow Names to Spark Your Imagination

We all need a bit of comedy in our lives sometimes, and what better way than to give your cow a comical name!

Here are just a few of our favorite funny cow names:

  • Big Mac
  • Cockadoodle Moo
  • Cowabunga
  • Cowasaki
  • Daisy Duke
  • Deja-Moo
  • Gremlin (QT’s mommy)
  • Holy Cow
  • Milkshake
  • Milky Way
  • Moocifer
  • Moody
  • MooMoo
  • Moo York
  • Mootilda
  • Mrs. Moo
  • Red Bull
  • Sir Loin
  • Stew
  • Trotter
  • T-Bone
  • Winnie The Moo

Celebrity-Inspired Cow Pun Names

Celebrity inspired cow pun names for your cows!

Please forgive us for these, but who doesn’t love a good play on words?! What could be more fun than naming your beloved house cow after your favorite famous person!

Here are some of the best celebrity-inspired cow names:

  • Barack Obamoo
  • Betty White
  • Cowie Underwood
  • Donald Rump
  • Eddie Moophy
  • George Moo-ney
  • Hugh Heifer
  • Kim Cow-dashian
  • Leonardo Di-Cow-prio
  • Milk-auley Culkin
  • Moo-donna
  • Moo-ella Deville
  • Moo-ley Cyrus
  • Moo-na Lisa
  • Moo-talica
  • Morgan Friesian
  • Simon Coo-well
  • Tim McGrass
  • Tom Moos

Best Male Cow Names

Now, we’re not into gender stereotypes here, but some names just work better for male cows. You could go for something totally over-the-top and masculine, particularly if you are breeding a top-class pedigree bull.

This Is How Fast a Cow Can Run [Compared to Race Horses, Buffalo, and People!]

By the way, Syrup’s magnificent dad is called Masterpiece and QT’s mom is called Gremlin… And here we are wondering why she’s a moo-natic!

Pancake’s daddy is called Ferrari. That probably sounds really strange at first, but that’s because he’s a rare red gene carrier. The red Lowlines are unreal!

Alternatively, pick something cute and fun for your male bull calves. After all, you don’t want visitors to your homestead to be terrified whenever you shout ‘Rambo’ in for his dinner!

Here are our top picks for the best male cow names:

  • Angus
  • Benjamin 
  • Bob
  • Carter
  • Cooper
  • Buddy
  • Duke
  • Earl
  • Henry
  • Homer
  • Hunter
  • Jack
  • Kenny
  • Lincoln
  • Masterpiece (Syrup’s daddy!)
  • Maverick
  • Noah
  • Oscar
  • Roman
  • Sampson
  • Sebastian
  • Zeke

Best Girl Cow Names

cow laughing out loud

Pick a fun girly name for your beautiful bovine, and she may reward you with extra milk!

Here are some feminine cow names to consider:

  • Arabella
  • Babe
  • Bianca
  • Bluebell
  • Chloe
  • Clarabelle
  • Cowntess
  • Ella
  • Elsie (The world’s most famous cow!)
  • Emma
  • Jasmine 
  • Maggie
  • Mary Moo Cow
  • Meg
  • Millie
  • Penny
  • Phoebe
  • Popcorn 
  • Princess
  • Rosie
  • Sweetie
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Dairy Cow Names

Traditionally, dairy cows were named after flowers, trees, and nature. You will find that a lot of dairy cows have the word ‘Belle’ incorporated into their names – this harks back to the time when it was common for cows to wear bells around their necks.

Let’s have a look at some lovely old-fashioned names for your dairy herd:

  • Annabelle
  • Blossom 
  • Bumble
  • Buttons
  • Clover
  • Cloud
  • Daisy
  • Joy
  • Molly
  • Petal
  • Tulip
  • River
  • Silver

Baby Cow Names

Looking for a fun name for your new calf? Here are our favorite baby cow names:

  • Astro
  • Diablo 
  • Doobie Doobie Moo
  • Dumpling
  • Flipper
  • Imp
  • Loopy
  • Speedy
  • Sugar
  • Summer
  • Tinker
  • Titch 
  • Zippy

Disney Cow Names

Who doesn’t love a Disney-inspired name! Your kids will love naming your cattle after their favorite Disney heroes and heroines.

Here are some of the best Disney cow names:

  • Boo
  • Buzz Lightyear
  • Cinderella
  • Dopy
  • Dory
  • Lightning McQueen
  • Meridia
  • Mulan
  • Nemo
  • Remy
  • Sleepy
  • Sully
  • Woody

Clever Cow Names

Maybe you’re looking for a name that reflects the intelligence of your lovely cow? Here are the best clever cow names:

  • Amelia
  • Athena
  • Cassidy
  • Darwin
  • Dexter
  • Da Vinci
  • Einstein
  • Galileo
  • Higgins
  • Holmes
  • Kasparov
  • Milton
  • Newton
  • Pascal 
  • Prudence
  • Tesla
  • Watson
  • Winifred
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Best White Cow Names

We have the best names for your gorgeous white cows!

If you have a beautiful snow-white cow, lucky you! These beautiful bovines are the queens of the cow world and deserve a name to match.

Here are some names to consider if you have a white cow:

  • Alaska
  • Angel
  • Blizzard
  • Cloud
  • Crystal
  • Dazzle
  • Diamond
  • Gem
  • Ghost
  • Ivory
  • Lily
  • Luna
  • Magnolia
  • Marshmallow
  • Moonshine
  • Nova
  • Opal
  • Pearl
  • Shimmer
  • Snowball
  • Snowflake
  • Star
  • Starlight

Best Black Cow Names

A super-shiny jet black cow is a truly elegant creature that deserves a name to match. Take a look at these suggestions for black cow names:

  • Bear
  • Blackjack
  • Cinders
  • Coco
  • Ebony
  • Espresso
  • Guinness
  • Midnight
  • Morticia
  • Nebula
  • Nero
  • Pepper
  • Phantom
  • Raven
  • Shadow
  • Smokey
  • Storm
  • Thunder
  • Twilight

Best Brown Cow Names

Who doesn’t love a brown cow? Cute and fluffy, like giant teddy bears, brown cows tend to attract cuter names than their black and white counterparts.

Here are some top suggestions for brown cow names:

  • Biscuit
  • Brownie
  • Butterscotch
  • Caramel
  • Cocoa
  • Hazel
  • Hershey
  • Hickory
  • Honey
  • Mocha
  • Molasses
  • Nutella
  • Sahara
  • Sandy
  • Teddy
  • Toffee
  • Tootsie

Best Names for Black and White Cows

belted galloway cow
The gorgeous Belted Galloway cow. If you’re the lucky owner of one of these, you’ll have to call it Oreo!

If you ever ask a child to describe a cow, chances are that they will say they are black and white!

Black and white cattle are the very essence of the traditional cow, often featured in children’s books and TV shows. Choosing names for your black and white herd can be great fun, with some fabulous suggestions for funny cow names out there. 

And if you have Belted Galloway cattle, it is pretty much mandatory that you call one of them Oreo! These gorgeous cows look just like the popular cookies, with their gorgeous jet-black bodies with a thick white stripe around the middle.

  • Cookie
  • Domino
  • Dottie
  • Freckles
  • Humbug
  • Magpie 
  • Marble
  • Mickey
  • Oreo
  • Panda
  • Patches
  • Penguin
  • Perdita
  • Polka
  • Pongo
  • Smudge
  • Snoopy
  • Speckles 
  • Spot
  • Sprinkles
  • Zebra
  • Ziggy

Top Red Cow Names

vitulus ferrari cloudbreak lowline cattle
Remember Ferrari, Pancake’s daddy? Here he is in all his glory! Photo credit to Cloudbreak Lowlines who bred both of our girls and gave us an amazing tour of their farm to boot!

With their beautiful auburn coats, red cows are incredibly beautiful. Some great red cow name ideas include:

  • Amber
  • Autumn
  • Brandy
  • Copper
  • Crimson
  • Elmo
  • Ferrari
  • Foxy
  • Ginger
  • Red
  • Robin
  • Rowan
  • Ruby
  • Russet
  • Rusty
  • Scarlet
  • Sienna
  • Valentine

Cool Cow Names 

If you want to give your cow a name that is cool and edgy, look no further! Here are some super cool names for cows:

  • Ace
  • Axel
  • Blade
  • Bolt
  • Boss
  • Buzz
  • Chopper
  • Diesel 
  • Gunner
  • Rebel
  • Sumo
  • Tank
  • Titan
  • Tyson
  • Viking

Names That Mean Cow

When naming cows, sometimes looking to other languages can inspire you.

These names all mean cow in different languages:

  • Agelada – Greek
  • Bagra – Maltese
  • Baka – Filipino
  • Behi – Basque
  • Pipi – Hawaiian
  • Krava – Bosnian
  • Ko – Danish
  • Lehma – Finnish
  • Mucca – Italian
  • Povi – Samoan
  • Tehen – Hungarian
  • Vaca – Portuguese

Famous Cow Names

Now there aren’t many famous cows out there, which is a shame! However, some companies use a cow as their mascot, and many of these will be familiar to you. They don’t exactly have funny cow names but they’re interesting nonetheless.

Here are some famous cow name suggestions:

  • Chatty Belle – The world’s largest talking cow
  • Elm Farm Ollie – the first cow to fly in an airplane
  • Elsie – the Borden mascot
  • Lani Moo – the Hawaii Gold Meadow Dairy mascot
  • Little Witch – the fastest racing cow
  • The Milka cow
  • Norman, who appeared in the movie City Slickers
  • The Laughing Cow

What’s are your favorite funny cow names? How many cows do you have? Tell us all about your herd and show some pics – I showed you mine, after all!

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